IF: The Pearls

It was during one of the shows that Ivy (known to the band mates as Rita Maid Herbal) began to feel very painful cramps in her side.  The pain was so bad that the manager had to stop the show all together and rush her to the hospital for emergency treatment.  They all were worried sick, the poor woman had been screaming bloody murder for 45 minutes.

The doctors and nurses could not figure out what was wrong with her, and Ace Pearl was getting mad.  It was not until an aide came out and shouted "SHE'S CROWNING!"

The doctor was shocked and said "Crowning as in giving birth?!"

"Yes!  Get in here!" the aide pushed him into the room and shut the door.

"Rita was pregnant?!" Snake asked Ace "Did you know anything about it?!"

"I swear to God I didn't!  She didn't even show!" he was freaking out, knowing that he was a father now.

"The belly didn't grow at ALL!  The only thing I noticed was her boobs getting bigger!" Grubber said, suddenly feeling a burning sensation in the back of his head.

"And what were you doing looking at Ivy's breasts, Johnathan?" his wife Melanie asked him, her arms folded and a not too happy look on her face.

"I can't help it!  They knocked over a stack of books on the table last week!"

They all heard Ivy's blood curdling scream and Ace ran to the door "BABY!?" he stopped cold, seeing all the blood that was protruding from his girlfriend's nether regions.

The doctors shouted "PUSH MISS HERBAL!" her long, red hair was in a loose braid; mostly to make the hair not stick to her skin.

Artura was on Ivy's phone with the woman's father "Hello, Mr. Herbal!  This is Rita's friend Artura..."her face dropped in annoyance "yes the one that looks like a 12 year old..." her face changed again to concern "Well...Rita's sort of..." her voice dropped and said "in labor". Her eyes grew wide as she walked over to Ace and handed him the phone "her father would like a word with you..."

He took the phone and said "H-hey Mr. Herbal!"

"Don't you 'hey' me!" the sixty year old man shouted over the phone "what did you do to my daughter?!"

"I swear to God nobody knew about it!  Her belly didn't grow!"

"Put someone else on the phone!  I wanna see if the story checks out!"

Ace passed the phone to Melanie, who confirmed the story and sent a picture of Rita to her father's cell phone that was taken yesterday at the beach where Rita was wearing a bikini with a flat belly.  "Please put Ace back on the phone" her father said sweetly.

"Yes, Mr. Herbal?"

"Look, sorry I yelled at ya...you SERIOUSLY had no idea about it?"

"Not a damn clue..."

"Alright.  Penelope and me are right close by we're gonna come over" he hung up his phone.

Ace was pale white, even whiter than Grubber and Ember.  Snake looked up and said "What's wrong?  You look like you seen a ghost"

"Her dad's coming here..." he said.

"So?" Melanie said "What's so scary about that?"

"He's a Hell's Angel..."

They all dropped what they were doing and gaped at him.  Arturo shouted "YOU PISSED OFF A HELL'S ANGEL?!"

"The group of badass bikers that would kill ya if ya so much as looked at 'em wrong?" Grubber said.

"Y-yeah..."

The nurse came out and said "Mr. Pearl?"

"That's me..." Ace said "H-how are my girlfriend and the..."he gulped "the baby?"

The nurse smiled and said "They both are healthy.  Your girlfriend is exhausted, but happy.  Your daughter awaits your meeting~"

"Daughter?" Ace said, sinking to his knees "A baby girl..." a smile came across his face "I have a baby girl~"

The nurse said "Would you like to come see them?  The bedsheets had just been changed and they both are clean."

"Of course I would-" he was cut off by a loud sound of a door being kicked in and a man's deep voice.

"Where the Hell is my grandbaby?!" Mr. Herbal shouted as he caught sight of Ace, who hid behind the nurse out of fear of being pummelled.

The nurse moved out of the way and Ivy's father picked Ace up in a giant bear hug "Congrats Daddy~!"

"Wait...you're not mad?!" he said, pulling away from the big man's grasp.

"Nah!" the man joked "We thought ya'd never knock up our baby!"

They all stared at the father with shock when the man's wife explained more elegantly "When we heard that Rita was getting married last month, we were happy about it.  Now that we have a grandchild, we are even more happy.  We thought our child would have a hard time adjusting to the school when she was younger until she met you" she then kissed her husband's cheek and said "Bad boys make for real good men~"

Melanie leaned over to her brother and whispered "The hell's wrong with Ivy's family?"

He shrugged and didnt say anything.

The nurse escorted the three (Ace and Ivy's parents) into the room, where the bags under Ivy's eyes were heavy but a tired smile crossed her face.  The little pink bundle in her arms was feeding from her mother's breast, and she stopped and looked at her daddy with his same amber eyes.  

Ace's eyes brightened up, holding the tiny bundle in his arms "Hey there little girl~  I'm your Daddy~" the baby girl reached up and took off her father's shades, eyeing them like they were the Lord.

Rita looked at him and asked "So what do you want to name her?"

Ace laughed and said "What do YOU wanna name her?  You're the one who gave birth!"

"Isis...that's a beautiful name~" Ivy stroked her baby's hair, which was red like hers, but was in the same style as her daddy's.

For the next six months, the entire band took a well deserved break.  Rita and Ace needed to spend time with Isis (Ace eventually got the baby her own little baby shades with pink rims and little diamonds on it) and get married on their scheduled wedding day.

One morning, they all were up and were looking for coffee creamer.  Sanford found some milk in a light blue container and poured some in thier cups.  A minute later, all thier faces turned and they swallowed hard.  "This milk tastes sour..."

Ivy came in and said "We don't have any milk..."

Sanford showed her the light blue container and said "This is it, but it went bad..."

Her eyes widened and said "You idiot, that's not regular milk that's my breast milk!"